Self Portrait: Day 13 // 4:05pm

True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less – CS Lewis.

Me-16

It has become apparent that I have been living in false humility. It’s not an easy thing to admit to. I speak openly when I say that I have taken being humble too far.

It wasn’t intentional, but I now see that my own insecurities were masked by the label of “humble”. This counterfeit humility has seen a manifestation of deceptive security. I was hiding behind humility and it became my safety net to reality.

Humility contained me.

As my eyes are being opened to the things otherwise unseen, to the hidden workings from within; I am learning that my low self esteem and self-defeating mindset came from a much deeper place of anxious uncertainty.

The very thing that has stopped me from accepting and embracing the real me, and owning my true identity; has in fact been my false sense of humility.

You see, where the world may view being humble as a weakness or something that is almost impossible to attain, I have learnt that the true meaning of humility is in fact one of the greatest strengths I can gain.

It will be what sets me apart.

It hasn’t been an easy road of discovery. In fact it’s been a long journey of ups and downs, but as I step into this territory unknown; I am only just beginning to see all that he has for me.

Yes, Jesus is the one taking me through a process of inner healing and leading me into an awareness of who I really am. He is the one who I seek to please. He is the one I look to with hope and trust, and he is the answer.

As I learn to accept, acknowledge and repent for my mistakes; and ask for His grace to help me overcome – I stand firm in the knowledge that I will never again abuse what was otherwise intended for my good.

I can’t do this on my own, but with God I know all things are possible.

I am now setting myself up for change and a transformation that will shake the very core of my being.

I’m not saying this will be easy, but I’m willing to rise to the occasion. I will strive to become all that he has intended me to be.

I will be an example of true humility.

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